I'm continuing with snippets from After Me, my YA paranormal thriller. (You can catch up on the earlier excerpts here.) When last we left Jada, our dead heroine, her Afterlife Advisor had just explained that the Afterlife Admissions department was reserved for people who had no sense of humor when they were alive. Flo was just about to check Jada's account in the LIFESCORE 6.2® program. We pick up as she discovers an unfortunate snafu. (Creative punctuation utilized to fit the sentence limit.)
“Okay, so what’s my assignment, scrubbing floors for being a slob while I was alive?”
Flo looked at her monitor and said, “No, I’m afraid you won’t be staying with us at all, because there’s an administrative hold on your account.”
“A hold—who put it there?”
One of her eyebrows went up and she said, “It’s an administrative hold, so do you really need an answer to that question?”
“Okay, fine," I said, "so what does it mean exactly?”
“It means, Miss Gayle, that in order to clear your account, you’ll have to serve time as a Transdead Trustee back on Earth.” She typed something else then said, “I’ll print out your instructions and answer any questions you may have before you’re sent back.”
“Sent back?” I sat up in my chair and leaned forward to say, “You mean I get to stay alive?”
“Not exactly, you'll be among the living and will appear to be one of them, but you won’t be alive, per se.”
Hmm...how exactly does that work? Next Sunday Jada finds out the first part of why she got the hold in the first place and why she's obligated to clear her account. Can't wait? You can buy After Me here. And please also check out the other Snippet Sunday folks and the Weekend Writing Warriors. Something for everyone among these talented writers!
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Fantastic writing, Joyce! Love the premise of this story, and you've set it up so well. I think it's so funny--the way you've written the Admissions department. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnother cool twist. I'm enjoying this story a lot.
ReplyDeleteMan, you can't even get away from red tape and bureaucracy after you're dead. (I'm just waiting for the clincher -- one department doesn't know what the other one is doing...)
ReplyDeleteTransdead Trustee
ReplyDeleteWould love to see that on a CV one day! A small technicality (being 'not alive') like that shouldn't deter our heroine, I think!
Love the story ... transdead trustee ... i wonder whether we'll find out the reason for it.
ReplyDeleteGreat dialogue. I. Can see this as a TV series!
ReplyDeleteLove this afterlife bureaucracy- and its bureaucrats!
ReplyDeleteEvidently we never escape bureaucracy. Could she be in hell?
ReplyDeleteHad to skip that part, but when she heard the Muzak version of songs from "High School Musical" coming from hidden speakers, she thought it must be the first level of Hell. ;-)
DeleteIntriguing! I wonder who put the hold on her account.
ReplyDeleteSomeone in the Home Office. ;-)
DeleteI LOVE the dialog from the bureaucrats she's encountering. Really well done and the situation just keeps getting more complex. Terrific snippet!
ReplyDeleteHeavenly intrigue. Neat.
ReplyDeleteHa! I love this! "Transdead Trustee". Such a clever snippet. Really enjoying this tale.
ReplyDeleteOh, so fun! She has to go back, but will not be alive...not technically! Love it!
ReplyDeleteSo she's the undead? Talk about fun with zombies. Great snippet, Joyce. :)
ReplyDelete"Transdead, Miss Gayle. I would remind you that this is not a Stephen King novel. You will also refrain from using terms like zombies, body snatchers and pod people."--Flo
DeleteLOVE it!! Makes me think of Beetlejuice. What fun!
ReplyDeletei love this premise. I can't wait to see what happens to her back on earth.
ReplyDeleteThe administrative department was very amusing. Cute snippe.
ReplyDeleteAn administrative hold! I love it... even in death we can't escape red tape and delays. Fun snippet!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, this will get complicated for her very quickly, I think. Once again, I have to say that I love this idea. It's amazing, and I love the rules and titles you're giving everything!
ReplyDeleteWhat!! That sounds totally nuts! And then when is she supposed to be dead dead. Those people are crazy. But that totally makes up for a really intense story.
ReplyDeleteI just keep repeating 'Transdead Trustee' over and over. Mission accomplished. I'm hooked!
ReplyDeleteLoved the snippet. Kind of reminds me a little like Heaven Can Wait with the whole set up in the afterlife. Really liked that movie.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to find out what she must do when living among the humans but not really being alive per se. lol
Your book seems humorous and quite fun to read!
ReplyDeleteNow there's a twist! I wonder why the hold was put on her account, and why she has to be alive but not alive. Oh, even more important! Will the living be able to see her or will she be a ghost? Or maybe some sort of guardian angel. This could go many ways, very intriguing.
ReplyDelete