Last week you met Jada just as she was realizing she wouldn't live to see another sunrise. She decides that if she's going to die, she'd rather not hang around for all the jolly festivities the psycho has in mind. She says something sure to piss him off so she can bow out of the party early.
After a brief flash of pain when the butt of the gun smashed into my skull, I welcomed the darkness.
But my oblivion didn’t last long.
When I opened my eyes again, I was sitting on an upholstered chair in a room that almost looked like the guidance counselor’s office at Tallahassee Premier Academy where I was a senior. But here everything was painted such a bright white that it almost hurt my eyes, and the sign on the door to my left leading into the inner office was lettered in some kind of glowing gold paint.
When I got up to read the sign, I realized I was wearing some kind of weird white dress. Where had that come from? Had somebody found me and taken me to a hospital?
I knew that wasn’t the case when I read the sign on the door:
AFTERLIFE ADMISSIONS OFFICE.
“Oh, crap. I’m dead.”
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Well, I was going to say she'd couldn't die because this is first-person, but now I'm not so sure.
ReplyDeleteGood description of the moment of discovery! Nicely done, Joyce!
ReplyDeleteWell that sure sucks the fun out of her day! Love the way you wrote this scene!
ReplyDeleteWhat a way to arrive at the pearly gates! I'm sure there are more surprises ahead.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet. I have to say, I love these kinds of stories. The concept reminds me of a series I currently have in the works, so thank you for inspiring me to get back on it! :D
ReplyDeleteLoved it and can't wait to read more. Excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteFun description!
ReplyDeleteOh! How clever. Love that sign...and her last comment when she sees it. Nice snippet. :)
ReplyDeleteWell, that always a terrible thing to discover when you wake up...fun snippet.
ReplyDeleteThere's some sadness to it, but with the "voice" of a teenager that makes me shake my head with a little chuckle. Well done.
ReplyDeleteNothing like waking up dead. (And I still love the implied bureaucracy of an Afterlife Admissions Office.)
ReplyDeleteNicely done. Tense moment that left me with a smile. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued. Love how you lead up to the discovery.
ReplyDeleteGreat last line! Now I definitely have to keep reading.
ReplyDeleteWow, afterlife, that's some awesome entrance. I love to see how she is still sort of conscious even though she is dead and I life how she still has a body too.
ReplyDelete