Sunday, January 03, 2016

Redhead Tip: Don't Make Decisions When You're Mad

Welcome back to Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday!




Continuing with my YA coming-of-age mystery, Shades of Blue. (You can catch up on the earlier excerpts here.) Last week we left Sam and JoJo in the midst of some unfolding drama at lunchtime. When JoJo tries to shoulder her way past Chip Wiley while holding her lunch tray, she ends up sitting on his lap—quite the sensation in a middle school cafeteria as you might imagine. Sam is not amused (even though he was currently sitting between a couple of Touchdown Twins) but he leaves without saying anything to JoJo. This next scene takes place as JoJo stops at the gym door as she's leaving to walk home and sees Sam lifting weights with the other boys who are trying out for football. While she's wondering where Sam got those new muscles he's using, Chip Wiley comes up behind her and says he wants to walk her home since she and Sam "are quits and all."




“Me and Sam were never anything to call quits except friends, and I sure don’t need you for a replacement.”

“Oh, I think you do,” he said, taking my book bag. “Girls shouldn’t be walking home alone through the woods—no telling what might happen to them.”

I eyed him suspiciously and said, “Why are you being nice all of a sudden after making my life miserable for the last eight years?”

“Maybe I been noticing things about you I never noticed before,” he said with shrug.

“More likely you just want to make Sam mad.”

He sneered in Sam’s direction and said, “I don’t give a damn what he thinks about it.”

I looked across the gym at Sam one last time just as he rose from the bench and could see him flush when he saw me with Chip, then he just turned his back. Instantaneous anger made up my mind for me.

“Come on, Chip, let's go.”


I had to utilize a little creative punctuation to keep this one from going over ten sentences, but all of it was needed to set up the snippet coming up next Sunday. Or you could always go buy your own copy of Shades of Blue here. ;-) And please check out the other WWW and SS bloggers. Something for everyone among these talented writers!

~Stay true to yourself and your dreams will come true!

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15 comments:

  1. Oh the conflicting teenage angst! Takes me back to high school. Well done, Joyce! Happy New Year!

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  2. I like this story, although I feel sorry for the heroine - such a difficult time in one's young life. Excellent excerpt!

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  3. I don't think Chip is a good option, even to make Sam mad.

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  4. I don't miss those days. Jealousy is not a good thing. I'm excited about next week's post. :)

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  5. Oh, the angst and the agony... You're doing a great job of nailing the exactly right emotions here.

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  6. Yeah, you know your anger and ego get you into so much trouble. Great snippet, Joyce. This is on my Kindle and I’m planning on reading it when I’m done with my latest WIP.

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  7. Nice depiction of Sam trying out her feminine wiles, trying to make the weightlifter jealous.

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  8. Great snippet. Perfectly showing teenage angst.

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  9. Great angst, really believable, and I like how Chip seemed to have "changed" after being a bully to her when she was younger. Really good snippet!

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  10. Oh great snippet and so true to life.Great emotions revealed here.

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  11. I don't trust Chip not to have an ulterior motive. And I'm not sure who I feel sorrier for -- her or Sam.

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  12. The dialogue is very authentic sounding. And I agree with some of the comments above, I'd be wary of Chip.

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  13. Okay, don't do anything stupid JoJo, just because you're mad at Sam.

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  14. Nice snippet. Looking forward to next week's!

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  15. Methinks that was the wrong anger-filled decision to make... Chip leaves a suspicious pit in my stomach. This reminds why I'm so glad I'm out of that blasted school drama.

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