Sunday, January 17, 2016

Innocence Lost

Time again for Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday!

I'm continuing with my YA coming-of-age mystery, Shades of Blue. (You can catch up on the earlier excerpts here.) Last week's snippet showed JoJo's mistake of cutting through the woods on her way home from school with obnoxious Chip Wiley. He tells her he knows where there's a treehouse that fell out of the tree, and her innocent curiosity gets the best of her. She follows him to a spot off the path that he marked with a piece of red string, and she's enchanted when she sees the gingerbread-like treehouse in the middle of a huge hydrangea bush, as if it had been built there. She wants to go inside and investigate, but Chip says he wants to tell her something first.

I used creative punctuation again, but all this was necessary for the scene.

“You wanna know what Sam said after he sucker-punched me at the creek that day?”

“Not really,” I said, realizing that I didn’t like the way he was looking at me and that my earlier uneasiness had returned.

“He said for me to keep my hands off his stuff from now on.”

“You’re lying, Sam wouldn’t say that.”

“I bet you thought he’d never go for a girl like Melissa either, but it just proves what a big fake he is, always acting like he’s so perfect and sucking up to the teachers, acting all smart and stuff.”

“Stop it, I don’t want to talk about Sam with you.”

“Fine, I don’t wanna talk about him either,” he said, his hands tightening on my shoulders as he took a step closer to me. "In fact, I don’t wanna talk at all.”

"Let me go, Chip," I said, really starting to get scared. I backed away from him, but he trapped me against the treehouse.

“I sure did like the way you looked in that wet T-shirt, JoJo.”

Nope, this can't end well. Tune in next week to see what happens. Or you could always go buy your own copy of Shades of Blue here. ;-) And please check out the other WWW and SS bloggers. Something for everyone among these talented writers!

~Stay true to yourself and your dreams will come true!

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  1. Uh-oh, I don't like the way this is going. Hope JoJo can find a way out!

  2. Well, from an adult's perspective (though not from Jo's) we could see something like this coming.

  3. Uh oh, poor JoJo. She should have listened to her instincts in the earlier snippets but I hope she can get away from this creep now. Exxcellent excerpt.

  4. Oh boy, this doesn't look like it's heading in a friendly direction. I am hoping she can make an escape! Can't wait to read more.

  5. Oy! I hope she's been taught what to do, and where to kick him so she can get away. Good, cautionary tale, Joyce. :-)

  6. This does not bode well. I guess she should have went with her instincts last week.
    (Been posting our post links on Pinterest. :)

  7. Sometimes it's difficult to tell what intentions people have--but if I were her, I'd make a serious effort to get away!

  8. Yikes, this is definitely not what she sighed up for. What a creep! Hope she can find a way out of it!

  9. Uh oh. Scared to see where this is headed.

  10. This is where I thought it was going. I hope she's enough of a tomboy to know how to get out of this situation.

  11. I figured she should have listened to her own reservations. What a jerk he is.

  12. Anonymous7:48 PM

    Always trust the gut... She didn't trust her gut... I knew this was coming.

    Gee, I really hope she kicks him where it hurts and runs like hell. She is a tomboy, right? She shouldn't have any aversions to doing that. I wouldn't.

  13. She needs to get him where it hurts! I can't believe he almost fooled me last week.

  14. Sounds to me as if dude needs a quick knee to the groin. Nice snippet.

  15. Every time I read a snippet from this WIP I'm transported back to my teenage years. The language and feel are dead on.

  16. Hmm. NOT GOOD. This feels to be a very bad place to be right now!