Sunday, January 10, 2016

All Together Now: "Don't do it, JoJo!"

Welcome back to Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday!

Continuing with my YA coming-of-age mystery, Shades of Blue. (You can catch up on the earlier excerpts here.) Kudos to everyone who picked up on the early foreshadowing in last week's snippet. I don't think there will be any doubt after this week that things are about to get dark. This scene picks up right after JoJo agrees to walk home from school with Chip Wiley because Sam makes her mad.

Chip was nice enough for the two blocks from the school to the Minit Mart, but when we got to the beginning of the trail through the woods that Sam and I always took, I felt the first twinges of unease tickling my spine. Something told me I shouldn’t go into the woods with Chip, but when he said he’d race me to where the path split leading to the creek, I was still too much of a tomboy to resist his challenge, so I ignored the warning voice in my head and took off running.

I barely beat him to the split, and it wasn’t really fair since he was carrying two backpacks. He dropped our bags and bent over with his hands on his knees.

“Not bad for a girl,” he said between breaths, “even if you did have to cheat back there at the big log.”

“That wasn’t cheating, it was an accident, and you’re the one who bought me the ICEE, so it’s your fault it sloshed on you.”

“Yeah, yeah." He crumpled his ICEE cup and threw it at me. "Hey, you wanna see something cool? I know where there's a treehouse that fell out of the tree."

Alas, I don't think she'll listen to us. Tune in next week to see how big of a mistake JoJo makes. Or you could always go buy your own copy of Shades of Blue here. ;-) And please check out the other WWW and SS bloggers. Something for everyone among these talented writers!

~Stay true to yourself and your dreams will come true!

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  1. Isn't it a shame that most of us have to have a bad experience before we learn to listen to our instincts? Hope JoJo does the right thing!

  2. She should have trusted her instincts! But you're creating good tension for the reader, wondering what will happen next. Great snippet!

  3. Don't do it! Always listen to those instincts....

    But who among us didn't ignore them at some point (only to be horribly sorry later). I wonder if this is a mistake she's going to have to make.

    Lovely snippet! Thanks so much for sharing!

  4. Great snippet. I like the banter and her being too much of a tomboy to ignore the challenge despite her uneasiness. Can't wait for more.

  5. Oh no! I am nervous to find out what happens when they go to look at the fallen tree house. Really enjoy the characters and dialogue. Great snippet!

  6. So far so good, although I share her premonition that this may not turn out well. I liked the line about her racing him because she's still enough of a tomboy; it's a perfect age-appropriate observation.

  7. This really worries me. She should listen to her inner voice.

  8. NOOOOOOO, you do not want to see that tree house--if there even is one!

    Good snippet, Joyce! :-)

  9. Great snippet ... I like the excuse her being too much of a tomboy to ignore the challenge despite her uneasiness ... well done

  10. It's seems like it's going okay so far. I hope her premonition is off base. :)

  11. I wonder if Chip needs a friend. I know he is supposed to be the bad guy but maybe there is something more to him.

  12. Anonymous11:00 PM

    Alarm bells! Alarm bells! Major alarm bells going off in my head. Never distrust your gut or the crawling down your spine. Never. Do not see that treehouse, turn around and keep running. She's not going to listen, is she?

    Love the bit about the tomboy in her though, nice touch to her personality. That's at least comforting to me that if things go south she hopefully won't be afraid to kick him where it hurts. LOL!