Sunday, December 13, 2015

Why Didn't I Go Pee When I Had the Chance?

© Emmet and Edith Gowin, Etherton Gallery

Welcome back to Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Here's another snippet from my coming-of-age/YA mystery, Shades of Blue. (You can catch up on the earlier excerpts here) Sam and JoJo have been best friends since they were kids, but puberty changes everything. This scene takes place while they're watching a movie together in JoJo's living room. Sam grabs her foot during a scary part and makes her squeal, then they start wrestling. He has her pinned down and is threatening to tickle her if she doesn't do what he says. She skipped her chance for a bathroom break and is afraid she'll wet her pants if he tickles her, so she has no choice but to agree to his demands. His first one is that she has to read The Lord of the Flies, no surprise since he's always trying to get her to read more books. But his second demand is a lot different.

“Say you hate Chip Wiley and that I’m your favorite football player.”

“Fine, I hate Chip Wiley, and Sam is my favorite football player.”

He smiled, then his expression slowly changed to one I’d never seen on his face before. It felt like his eyes had mine locked in some kind of tractor beam, and I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. Or maybe it was my own heart, because it sure seemed amplified a hundred times louder than normal, and it felt like a giant hand was squeezing my chest. Sam’s hipbone was sticking me in the side something fierce, and I truly thought I might pass out at any second.

“Let me up right now, Sam, I mean it.”

His expression changed again to something else I couldn’t read--like fear and embarrassment mixed with anger--but he let me up and scrambled to his feet.

Don't you hate it when your bladder betrays you like that? Tune in for another snippet next Sunday, or you can buy your own copy of Shades of Blue here. And please check out the other WWW and SS bloggers. Something for everyone among these talented writers!

~Stay true to yourself and your dreams will come true!

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  1. Great snippet! I really enjoyed reading and I hope she gets a second chance after she uses the bathroom. :-)

  2. Well that was a very realistic moment indeed! I thought you described the thoughts and feelings so well...great excerpt. A minor comment from me with my Moderator hat on - can you please include one of our WeWriWa logos at the top of the post? Just so people can see at a glance they're in the right place, thanks! :)

  3. Enjoyed this snippet. It conveyed the awkwardness and angst of young relationships.

  4. I absolutely love this snippet from Shades of Blue! But, I love the whole book, so that's no surprise. JoJo is one of my favorite characters you've written anyway--a girl after my own heart! Curse that bladder!

  5. I really felt sorry for Sam in that last paragraph.

  6. Enjoyed the snippet and so true to life. I do hope she has another chance. I have a hunch she'll think about using the restaurant first next time. lol

  7. Very realistic snippet! Wonder how they'll both move past this little awkward phase...

  8. She doesn't seem ready for it yet and I like how she takes control.

  9. That's a neat trick, having the panic over the peeing (and we have ALL felt that panic) mirror all of the other things that are running through her mind at that moment.

  10. Anonymous9:58 AM

    I love this little snippet so much. Really looking forward to reading more!

  11. well done. really enjoyed the snippet ... the bladder reason gave me a giggle or two though.

  12. I was worried that he wouldn't let her go when she demanded, I'm so glad that he did. It's obvious things are changing and they will have to deal with the new feelings. The snippet says a lot.