Welcome back to Weekend Writing Warriors!
Here's another snippet from my coming-of-age/YA mystery, Shades of Blue. Sam and JoJo have been best friends since they were five, but puberty changes everything. This scene takes place while they're watching a movie together in JoJo's living room. Sam grabs her foot during a scary part and makes her squeal, then they start wrestling. He has her pinned down and is threatening to tickle her if she doesn't do what he says. She skipped her chance for a bathroom break and is afraid she'll wet her pants if he tickles her, so she has no choice but to agree to his demands. His first one is that she has to read The Lord of the Flies, no surprise since he's always trying to get her to read more books. But his second demand is a lot different.
“Say you hate Chip Wiley and that I’m your favorite football player.”
“Fine, I hate Chip Wiley, and Sam is my favorite football player.”
He smiled, then his expression slowly changed to one I’d never seen on his face before. It felt like his eyes had mine locked in some kind of tractor beam, and I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. Or maybe it was my own heart, because it sure seemed amplified a hundred times louder than normal, and it felt like a giant hand was squeezing my chest. Sam’s hipbone was sticking me in the side something fierce, and I truly thought I might pass out at any second.
“Let me up right now, Sam, I mean it.”
His expression changed again to something else I couldn’t read--like fear and embarrassment mixed with anger--but he let me up and scrambled to his feet.
Shades of Blue is still a WIP, but you can buy my other books here, and please also check out the other Weekend Writing Warriors and the Six Sentence Sunday refugees. Something for everyone among these talented writers!
~Stay true to yourself and your dreams will come true!
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24 comments:
I love the first couple lines. Great snippet.
I can feel her fear. Great snippet.
Great six! Love the tractor beam reference.
You captured this moment beautifully!
Great moment of realization there!
A "na-nana-na" moment gone awry. Well done.
You painted this moment so well! Awesome job :)
A wonderful moment of realization there, which you portrayed very well, together with his reactions afterwards.
Things are changing between them. That can be scary and exciting all at the same time. Great Six Joyce. :-)
Lovely. I wonder what would have happened if she hadn't asked him to get up. From the description, it seems he was recognising something he hadn't before–attraction?
This is excellent--it not only establishes the relationship and the characters, but that the changes in store may not be happening at the same speed for both . . .
I think we all know what's happening here. You did say puberty, yes? :-) Excellent portrayal of emotions.
Beautiful moment! Attraction recognized!
the comment about the skipped bathroom break made me think it was more relevant. However, had he not scampered to his feet, I wonder what would have happened..
so glad you're on here too
Lovely tense moment. Terrific snippet!
Ah... the awkward moment when they "really" notice each other! Love this!
Ouch, friendship suffers when horniness gets in the way. Poor kids.
Oh, we just learned a lot about him, and in her 1st person POV. Nice!
Really well done, like how the emotions changed during the excerpt and things went from fun and games to serious. Terrific snippet!
Wonderful sentences! Realizing a friend may be more is awkward--you described the scene perfectly! :)
Aww bless, teenage crushes and venturing into the unknown --- can feel the nerves and confusion coming from her in leaps and bounds. Very natural character interactions, too. Nice six!
Ah the first stirrings of something more than friendship. It's scary at that age. Well done, Joyce
The tractor beam is great. You captured her confusion beautifuly.
I can sense his fear of rejection and her fear of progress. Great snippet, Joyce. :)
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